The Art of Active Listening
Hello friends!
I have a confession to make. I was a terrible listener. When I began my wellness coach training program, I was excited to learn all about all the ways I would be advising people, giving amazing wellness advice, and patting myself on the back as I miraculously changed lives. Well, I quickly learned that I had no idea what wellness coaching was! Wellness coaching embodies the art of listening, not telling. I wish I had learned these skills earlier in life! As a supportive partner, a new mom, a trusted friend, I cannot think of a better gift to give to those you love. As I learned the art of listening, it opened my heart. I felt more able to speak with authenticity, trust, and without judgement. To feel heard and understood. It was life changing.
Why is it so important to feel heard and understood?
The need to be heard and understood stems from the human desire for validation and connection. Some of the positive effects are:
Validation and Emotional Support: Feeling heard validates our emotions and experiences, reassuring us that our feelings are real and legitimate.
Reduced Stress and Anxiety: Being heard allows us to express our thoughts and feelings, lessening the feelings of stress and anxiety.
Enhanced Self-Esteem: When we feel heard, we gain a sense of self-worth. This boosts our self-esteem, confidence, and empowers us to navigate the ups and downs of life more effectively.
Improved Relationships: Being heard fosters deep connection. It strengthens trust by creating an environment where individuals can be vulnerable and authentic.
What is the impact of active listening on well-being?
Active listening is a communication skill that involves not just hearing the words, but also understanding, empathising, and responding thoughtfully. It requires the listener to be fully present in the moment. Some effects of active listening are:
Enhanced Emotional Connection: Active listening deepens the emotional connection between people. Active listening sends the message that your thoughts and feelings are important.
Validation and Empathy: Active listening involves empathetic responses that convey understanding and support. This validation helps individuals process their emotions and experiences, reducing feelings of isolation.
Stress Reduction: Sharing our thoughts and concerns through active listening provides an outlet for stress.
Conflict Resolution: Active listening is a critical tool for resolving conflicts. When both parties feel heard, they are more likely to find common ground and work together toward a solution.
What are some ways to improve active listening?
Be Fully Present: Put away distractions and focus on being an active listener. Focus on their words and non-verbal cues.
Empathise and Validate: Show empathy by acknowledging the speaker’s emotions and experiences. Use phrases like, “I hear you” or “That must have been tough.”
Ask Open-Ended Questions: Encourage the speaker to share more by asking open-ended questions that require more than a simple “yes” or “no” response. “Tell me more about …”
Avoid Interruptions: Resist the urge to interrupt or offer advice.
Use Non-Verbal Cues: Maintain eye contact, nod, and use non-verbal cues to show that you’re engaged.
Ask permission to give advice. Do not assume others want or need it. Sometimes all someone wants is to feel heard.
Active listening is a wonderful and cultivated skill. The simple act of being heard can have profound effects on our mental health and overall well-being. When we actively listen to others, we give the gift of validation and understanding. We help others move forward with compassion and empathy. It's a beautiful thing! Stay well-ish friends.
XOXO,
Dani
